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Howtomakefriends

Howtomakefriends
Dont Be Yourself, Be Your Bestself
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Making Time for Your New Friends

Old friends are old wine. All it takes is a single sip for the flavor
to drench your body and soul. On the other hand, new friends are like
champagne. There is a specific procedure and ritual to follow. If you
do not give them the respect they deserves, you will find that it is
not as fun as you thought it would be. New friends require time.

That is the only way you can get closer with such persons. We all make
good friends by getting introduced to them as mere contacts. From
online networking websites to introduction by friends and relatives -
all friendships have humble beginnings.

The transformation from a contact or acquaintance to a friend takes
place only when you spend time with each other. The internet has made
it convenient to spend time without any personal interaction. There is
no denying that you will have to spend time. Many persons complaining
that they have the desire to make new friends but rarely have the time
to follow it up. Even if you have a large number of friends, you should
not to find it difficult to make time for each and every person.

If nothing else works, you should simply throw a party once in a while
and request all your friends to drop in. This is a great way of not
just catching up with your friends would also helping them make new
contacts and acquaintances.

If you want to make time for new friends, you should analyze and find
out how much time you waste on nonproductive tasks. Remember,
friendship is not just about laughing and chatting. It is also about
useful exchange of ideas. If you have a good network, you can rely on
your friends in times of need. This does not mean you should make
friends only for asking favors. Yet, you should have a relation that
you can rely on without any fear of being ridiculed.

If you make proper analysis of your schedule and streamline it, you
should not have problem in taking time out to make friends. Secondly,
you should try to incorporate your daily activities in such a manner
that you can make as many friends as possible. Many persons make very
good friends during their school and college days because they all
attend the education institution together.

Hence, if you have friends who are conscious about staying fit, you can
make it a point to meet them in the gym regularly. You will be spending
an hour or so every day and that should be more than sufficient to
improve the contact.

Finally, make it a point to spare at least a few hours on your holidays
for interacting with others. From meeting them and hanging out in cool
spots to dropping in at their homes-there are many options provided you
are ready to plan work towards same. If you spend all your time in
front of the television, your friends will get irritated at your lack
of contact.
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Making New Friends in 5 Easy Steps

It is not possible to divide the process of making new friends into
watertight compartments. However, it is possible to break it down into
five easy steps that will help you realize that this is not rocket
science.

Step 1- Look Presentable

Most persons presume that the step is to go out and meet people. Wrong.
The first step is to know yourself. Take a look at yourself in the
mirror. Would you be interested in meeting, talking and becoming
friends with a person like you? Many persons presume that only those
with supermodel look can make friends. That is not the case. All you
need is a clean and neat appearance. If you look like something that
the cat brought home, nobody will be interested in becoming friends.
Even you would not prefer associating yourself with a person who looks
like a thug.

Step 2- Meet People

The second step is to go out and meet people. If you do not meet them,
you will never make friends. Many complain that they spend a lot of
time outside the house but had never make friends. Well, there is no
point in just staying in the company of people. You will have actually
met them. You will have to interact with them. This involves exchange
of ideas. This involves presentation of what you think in a manner that
is appreciated by others. Do not make the mistake of thinking that
friendship should occur as an instantaneous reaction. In real life,
friendship is progression of gradual steps.

Step 3- Break the Ice

Inculcate social skills like the ability to make small talk. Many
persons are great when it comes to making conversation on a specific
topic. However, once the topic is done and dusted, they clam up and
simply stop contributing. From general discussion on fashion to info on
the meeting place - you should have the ability to chitchat and
exchange ideas without making a big fuss about it. If the other person
does not know how to make small talk, this talent will help break the
ice and help the other person feel more comfortable.

Step 4 - Think Before You Proceed

The fourth step is to analyze the other person and determine whether
you both share ideas and thoughts for the friendship to proceed ahead.
This may not be a completely analytical thing. In most cases, persons
look for that X. factor which attracts them to the other person. In
many cases, persons leap first and then look. This can be risky. Adopt
a more sensible approach instead.

Step 5- Cultivate the Friendship

The final step is to take this relationship to the next level by
meeting more often and talking more. Sincerity, regularity and honesty
are three traits that are very important if you want to make new
friends. Even if one of the three characteristics is missing, it will
wreak havoc with your relationship. You cannot have false pretences and
hope of maintaining friendship for a long time.

Follow these easy steps and see how you will get to not only make new
friends, but also keep them and grow numerous beneficial friendships.
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Making Good Friends, Not Just New Friends

Do not make the mistake of judging friendship by numbers. Just because
you have fifty friends does not make you a very popular person. On the
other hand, just because you have five friends does not make you
unpopular as well. Many persons treat friendship as a competition and
try to make as many new friends as possible. They love it when they
walk into any party or public place and find that they are well known.
This may be very good for your ego but is not going to serve the
purpose of friendship.

The Idea of Friendship

Friendship refers to process of creating an emotional bond with another
person and maintaining it for the rest of life. This may sound
surprising but each and every friendship created should last the
distance. Today, we treat friendship as a commodity and work on the
basis as if it has an expiry date. That is the reason why you should
understand that making good friends is more important than making new
friends very often.

Getting to Know Yourself

If you want to make good friends, you will have to know yourself and
you will have to know the person in front of you. Nobody is going to
open up his or her deepest secrets just because you want to become a
friend. Rather, you will have to make use of your intelligence and
ability to assess people and their characteristic from their behavior.
There is an ancient rule that you can judge the person by the manner in
which he treats his or her subordinates. Hence, you can find a lot
about the person sitting in front of you by the manner in which he or
she addresses the attendant in a restaurant.

If you keep an eye on superficial traits like looks, appearance, wealth
and coolness quotient, chances are high that you will end up being
disappointed. In the long run, wealth can disappear, good looks can
fade and fashion can become outdated. However, person who shares true
empathy with you and who shares heart to heart bond will definitely
stick around.

Using All Resources

Do not make the mistake of thinking that you cannot make good friends
on social networking web sites or online resources. You can become a
good friend of any individual provided you are sincere and have the
desire to enrich not just yourself but the other person as well. It
does not matter which medium you use. As long as you are sincere, you
should not face any difficulty.

Having a large number of friends for the sake of numbers does not make
sense. However, if you are naturally gregarious, then you should not
hesitate to make a large number of good friends. It is impossible to
find a person who agrees with you on everything. True friends agree to
disagree. Once you achieve this, you will never face any problem in
maintaining good relations with all your friends irrespective of age,
gender or social status.

New is not necessarily good unless you know how to maintain such
relationships and make it last the distance.
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Jealousy and Envy Can Get in Your Way of Making Friends

Do you make friends or simply try to manipulate other people into
believing that you are their friend? This may hurt but if you belong to
the latter category, then you are nothing but a cold-blooded
manipulator who deserves no friends whatsoever. Many persons make
friends out of jealousy and envy. When you find that your best friend
has become good friends with another pretty girl or has hooked up with
a smart looking boy, you will automatically feel jealous.

There is no rational reason for jealousy. You share a special bond with
your friend and nobody can replace that. No two individuals are the
same. Hence, your friend's new friend or contact may share certain
characteristics with you but will not be just the same like you. You
should have the maturity to understand this.

What will happen if you let your jealousy and envy take charge? You
will end up making friends even if you do not the share the same
wavelength. In the long run, you will mislead the other person into
believing that you are a sincere friend. The truth is that you would
simply be interested in showing of the friendship and proving that you
too can make as many friends as you want.

The worst part is that you cannot hide this fact for long. Sooner or
later, you will admit, either orally or by actions, that you are not
interested in the person at all. If the person whom you are trying to
make jealous returns to you and starts behaving normally, you would be
more than willing to dump your so-called new friends.

Some persons get together and spend a lot of time criticizing others.
They simply share their envy and believe that they share a lot of
things in common. Friendship that is based on jealousy or such negative
emotions will not last for very long time. The true friend is one who
tells not to bother about others and get on with your life.

The true friend will tell you that you are special and have your own
capabilities and should respect that. A friend who encourages you to be
envious and shares his or her envious thoughts is not a friend at all.
Rather, both of you would simply be wasting your time believing that
you are good friends.

In the long run, jealousy and envy can leave you unattractive and will
make it difficult for you to make friends. Respected people will feel
irritated at your jealousy. What is more, they will lose respect
because they probably expected you to be very mature and confident
about yourself. If you are jealous, you will only attract other jealous
persons who are as weak as you are.

Thankfully, it is not very difficult to banish such an approach
provided you are sensible and firm. Use online and offline resources
and find out how others have suffered from this problem. Do not let
such a small thing take charge of your life and friendship.
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Sharing Your Feelings with Close Friends

Any and every person who likes to make new friends will always face the
question of how to connect with close friends. There is a huge paradox
involved in sharing feelings with friends. Should you open up to close
friends after they have become close or should you make them close
friends by opening up? If you opt for the former option, you may have
to wait for very long time before you start sharing feelings. In such a
scenario, you will lose the chance to make the person a very good
friend because of your hesitation. On the other hand, if you open up to
close friends before they become close, you may end up disclosing your
secrets and may face the risk of loss of face.

You should make it a point to neither be too hasty nor be very slow. If
you are very hasty in sharing your secrets, you may end up trusting
persons who do not deserve your trust. On the other hand, if you become
very defensive, you will never connect with close friends. Of course,
sharing of secrets is not necessarily the only way to open up to close
friends.

Doing lots of stuff together will help the other person know more about
you by simply observing you. You can adopt the same approach to find
out more about the other person. Once you are certain that there is no
harm or risk involved, you can open up and start talking.

Most of us who have shared our inner thoughts with our friends have
never done it consciously. Rather, long rambling discussions invariably
led to sharing of confidences. This is the best way to deal with close
friends. On the other hand, if you get up in the morning and decide
that today's going to be the day you are going to share everything with
a friend, chances are high that you will find it very odd and will end
up uncomfortable.

If you are not certain, then you should give it a break and find out
how the other person has reacted to the knowledge. Of course, the fact
that you have trusted him or her will make the other person happy.
However, there is a possibility that the other person may take his or
her position for granted. He or she may start lecturing you or may
start behaving as if you are inferior. If your face this problem, then
this does not mean that you have chosen the wrong person. Rather, this
reaction only shows that your friend is also human and deserves some
time to get used to the special status. However, if this behavior does
not stop even after a long time, it is best to restrict your friendship
and not take it too far ahead.

All of us have made mistakes of trusting people and sharing feelings we
should not have done in the past. This does not mean you should stop
making friends. Rather, you should convert this into a process where
you learn from each mistake.
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Resolving Conflicts with Friends and Getting Back on Track

Conflict resolution is an inherent part of every relationship. Find a
person who has never fought with friends and you will find a person who
has never had any friends. Resolving conflict is a part and parcel of
the job. If you do not know how to resolve conflict with your friends,
you will never have good friends. The idea of two persons meeting and
getting along very well without any disagreements exists only in the
world of fiction. In the real world, resolving conflict is the only way
of maintaining a relationship. So, if you have a fight with your
friend, do not act as if it is the end of the world. Rather, focus on
finding ways to get back together. If you feel that there is no need to
get back together, you can skip the conflict resolution aspect and move
ahead. However, you will find that, sooner or later, you have to take
steps towards resolving conflict.

What is the first step that you should take to resolve conflict with
your friends? It is important to take a step back and look at things
from a less excited perspective. Getting back together with friends is
easier if you allow tempers to cool down on both sides. Friends are
persons who know a lot about each other. In such a scenario, anger may
cause the other person to say things that one may find it difficult to
ignore.

The fact that confidence was violated and your trust was broken can
hurt the most when trying to resolve conflict. In such a scenario, if
you allow some time to pass, you will find that the wounds do not hurt
a lot and that you are in a position to focus on getting back together
with friends.

Secondly, you should have clear and specific reasons why you need to
get back together. If you are scared that you will not find another
friend or are afraid that the friend knows too much about you, it is
best to focus on your life ahead. There should be genuine empathy and
trust between the two parties. If you are scared or are desperate for
friendship, then it is obviously not going to work.

Thirdly, you should focus on trying to learn from the conflict. Even if
the friendship does not revert back to its original state, you should
focus on the lessons to be learned. You might have trusted the friend a
little too much a little too soon. Or, you may have not trusted the
person and this may have led to difference of opinion.

Improper communication is the most common reason why conflict occurs.
In most cases, the person is not aware that the friend is getting hurt
due to one's behavior. In such a scenario, learning how to avoid
misunderstandings when communicating becomes very important to resolve
conflict. This will require a lot of patience and self discipline. This
is one useful thing that one can learn from conflict with friends.
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Reconnecting with Old School Friends

There was a time when trying to meet old friends from school or college
required a long trip back home. It was no different from a pilgrimage.
The only difference was that the pilgrimage would focus on identifying
old friends and renew friendship and not on any religious icon.

What steps should you take if you want to reconnect with old friends
from high school/college? The most important step is to understand that
your friends may have moved on and may no longer be interested in
continuing the friendship. This may sound very harsh but time changes
everything. The person that you might have befriended in your school or
college days may have changed beyond recognition. Hence, you should
identify whether the person is also interested or not. If not, then you
should back away very quickly and should not try to renew friendship in
a forceful manner.

Secondly, do not make the mistake of contacting your old friend and
expecting that you will reconnect with old friends from high
school/college without any effort whatsoever. You probably know a lot
of stories about each other but a lot of water has passed beneath the
bridge since you lost contact. Do not forget this when reestablishing
contact. You should take steps to know more about your old friend as if
he or she is a complete stranger. If you put in extra effort, you will
gain respect of the other person because you are not taking them for
granted.

Another advantage of paying special attention to your efforts to renew
friendship is that it will strengthen the old bond. Anyone who takes
others for granted is never liked. On the other hand, if you give due
respect to your old friend, you will find that it will be reciprocated
and the relationship will grow very quickly.

Do not tell lies why you have stayed out of contact. If you were just
not interested, do not hesitate to say so. This is because you cannot
start a relationship on the basis of a lie. If you are trying to renew
friendship and meet old friends, you should apologize for not staying
in touch but do not justify it or try to brush it under the carpet.

Make smart use of technological aids. You can get in touch with a large
number of old college friends on Facebook or other such websites.
However, do not underestimate the importance of personal contact. There
is no harm in using online platforms to find out where your old friends
are. However, make it a point to drop in on them once in a while
because that is the best way of rekindling old friendships. If you
focus on online meeting grounds alone, chances are high that you will
never feel the old spark returning.

Furthermore, make it a point to introduce your family members to the
family members of your friend. If your spouse gets along very well with
your old friends and his or her family, it will become easier for you
to maintain and continue your relationship again.
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Making Lifetime Friends

We all love to make friends. However, we always end up complaining that
we always seem to be making new friends all the time. There are many
who wish to make friends and retain them for the rest of their lives.
Yet, they never make lifetime friends. They always have persons who
become friends and then end up being nothing more than just contacts.

Is there a trick to the task? Do you have to anything special to have
long lasting friendship? The basic steps of making friends remain the
same. You need to meet people. You need to get in touch with many
persons and find out more about others. You should be prepared to work
towards having a long term relationship. All these steps are essential
for not just making lifetime friends but for making new friends in
general.

Once you have become friendly and once you are on a first name basis,
it is time to determine whether you want to take the friendship to the
next step or not. Many persons feel that friendship should just happen
and should not be made or cultivated. However, this is not true for
long lasting friendships. You can end up becoming a friend of a
complete stranger when you are getting drunk in a bar. However, you
cannot be a friend of a complete stranger without sharing anything in
common with that person.

It may be something as inane as your favorite breed of dog or something
as serious as your political affiliation. However, sharing something in
common is a must for long lasting friendship.

The second thing you need for making lifetime friends is sincerity and
commitment. You need to have a give and take relationship with your
friend. It need not be related to money. Rather, the mutual benefit
should focus on emotional support. A friend who treats you like a bank
or credit card is of no use whatsoever. Rather, a friend who contacts
you for emotional support and for assistance that he or she cannot ask
from others is a real friend.

Thirdly, you should have the desire to make it last. To be good and
thick friends when you are living in the same city or neighborhood is
not difficult. However, it is very difficult to maintain the same level
of friendship with the same level of intimacy when you are separated by
hundreds and thousands of miles.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that having a cell phone or a
laptop is enough to stay in contact with good friends. Rather, you need
the desire and the commitment to make it work. This is the most
important trick of making lifetime friends. You should stay in touch
and work towards giving and seeking assistance.

There is a very fine line in enjoying friendship for your entire life
and ending up being desperate for friendship. You should aim for the
former but should not focus on the latter. Finding a friend who will
stay close to you for the rest of your life is not an easy task. You
should be patient and should wait for the right results.
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How to Keep Friends

What is the point of making new friends if you never seem to keep them
for long? There are many persons who never realize that they are very
bad when it comes to keeping friends. It is only when they discover
that their other friends stay in touch with dozens of individuals in
one go and that they never seem to rise beyond single digits do they
start thinking of how to maintain friendship.

What will happen if you ignore your credit card dues and keep on
applying for new debts again and again? There will come a time when
lenders will simply reject you. When that happens, you will end up
without any credit whatsoever. This is how friendship works. If you
focus on ways to make new friends and if you do not work on ways to
keep friends you have already made, it is just a question of time
before you end up with no friends whatsoever.

Here are some tips to maintain friendship and to ensure that you are
never far from a kind and understanding friend when you want one.

People evolve and change all the time. You might have got along very
well with a person when you were in college. However, things may not be
as rosy as it was in the past now that you have a job and are employed
full time. The friend may be an artist or may be self employed and may
have lots of time to spare. On the other hand, you may have time to
spare only during the weekend. Do not be surprised if these small
things cause maximum trouble when you are trying to maintain
friendship.

How to overcome this problem and maintain friendship? Do not think that
good times will never go sour. Rather, keep on preparing for bad times.
Each and every change in your life will have an impact on your
friendship. If you are not in a position to give the same amount of
time you used to in the past, find out ways to stay in contact using
the web.

Rather than meeting once in a week, try to meet daily online so that
your friend never feels that you are no longer around when needed.
Secondly, you should make an effort to keep friends happy. If you
cannot talk very often, why don't you get something really special for
his or her birthday? The price or value of the object is not important.
Rather, you should focus on conveying the message that the other person
is special.

When you try doing this, you will be surprised to find that there is a
voice inside you which tells you to just skip it and focus on your
daily routine. It is this voice that spoils most friendships. If you
counter this voice and if you are smart enough to do the right thing
and not just the most convenient thing, you will never find it
difficult to maintain good relations with old friends no matter how
busy you are.
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Using Social Network to Make Friends

Since it's the Internet era, you might as well take full advantage of
it and use the virtual world to make friends. It might prove to be a
lot easier since you don't have to talk to a person face to face as
soon as you say high. Online, you will notice that you won't feel as
vulnerable as you would in the real world. However, having an online
friend isn't as significant as a real-life friend. In this case, what
you need to do is transform some of your virtual buddies into real
friends who you go out to grab coffee with.

Making Online Friends

Keep in mind that making online friends isn't too easy either. You'll
still have to spend quite some time online to both get to know people,
make friends, but also maintain that friendship steady. At first you
should familiarize yourself with some of the most popular social
networks such as Facebook, Twitter and MySpace. Seeing as these social
networks have loads of people from all parts of the world, it won't be
hard to find some people in your local area with which you can become
friends.

Finding People Online

Simply sending out an invitation isn't the way you should go about it.
You could join groups, be active in the online community and only
thereafter start talking in private to people you like or share
interests with. You should start out easy and not scare someone off.
Making online friends may be tricky since not everyone is so active.
Make sure that you don't send out the wrong impression that you're
looking for a love affair or a life partner because some people might
think that you're after something different than just a usual
friendship.

Talking Often to Virtual Friend

The best way you can go about making online friends is to talk with
them through e-mails or instant messaging. So after you have a friend
for a while on a social network, try to get him/her in your contact
list on your instant messenger. This kind of talking is more personal
than that of private messages on social networks or even e-mails. It'll
also be a lot easier for you to keep in touch and talk more often.
You'll be able to have the closest thing there is to an actual and
real-life conversation.

Turning Online Friends into Real Friends

You should wait at least a couple of months before you propose your
virtual friend to go out for a drink. Also, if they ask you first, try
to postpone this meeting until you get to know him/her better. You need
to make sure that this person can truly become your friend because
there are all different kinds of people online that you may not like.

Beware of Trouble

When making friends online make sure you protect your privacy. You
should share your personal information or in-depth contact details such
as telephone number or home address. You can never know who you run
into and what type of person he/she is.
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